6 Week Summer Slimdown Challenge and my not-so-slim past...

So my friend Suzanne is a Certified Health Coach for Take Shape for Life. She is really amazing because she always has so much energy, and she is so positive and happy all the time. She loves helping people in any way that she can. With her as my team leader and health coach I am participating in the 6 Week Summer Slimdown Challenge via Take Shape for Life and Meltdown Challenge.com. The cool thing is that you do not need to be a Take Shape for Life client to participate but you still get daily health tips and motivation plus a free health coach . You start by giving a $20 ante and doing a photo weigh-in. The goal that I am participating in is to lost 6% of your body weight in 6 weeks. For me this is a 13 pound weight loss goal. I think this is totally doable! The other thing you have to do to "win" the challenge is to earn 80% of the points possible. The ante-up pot will be split up between all the "winners" so you can get not only your money back but possibly more! You can earn the following points:

• 1 point daily for the exercise log
• 1 point daily for the food diary
• 1 point daily for posting on the challenge wall
• 1 point daily for reading the daily snippet of health information
• 1 point daily for inviting friends to join the challenge
• 5 points weekly for listening to the weekly call (recorded)
• 5 points weekly 

As you know, this challenge came at the perfect time because my doctor wants me to lose some weight since we are trying to get pregnant and I am not at a healthy place. I have been up and down with my weight and shape as well as my self esteem pretty much my whole life. 

Where it all began...

It mostly started in the summer between 8th grade and 9th grade. I was on the cheer squad and I was pretty slender. I loved dancing and cheerleading. And then puberty hit hard. I don't remember doing anything different, persee. But I know when I got my physical for 9th grade I had gained 26 pounds and most of it was on my thighs and abdomen. It almost seems like it happened overnight. I also had lovely stretch marks on my thighs, abdomen and back since the weight came on so quickly. In addition, I finally convinced someone that I needed glasses (that's a whole 'nother story!) and my Mom gave me the best $5 home perm (in the sense that it really was permanent) that has probably ever been. Yes, I asked for it for my birthday. And no, I did not like it. I love my mom but perming the bangs was not a good plan and most teenage girls don't want to look like their mother. Just saying.

Nah, we don't look related at all!

Now look at the difference before and after the 26 pounds, perm, glasses and lots of laughs at my expense from my family. You can really see it in the face and legs. It's hard to really see all of the differences but I think you can get the gist.

8th grade vs 9th grade

Not feeling so good about myself then. In fact, by the end of 9th grade I had such little confidence in my body that I didn't try out for the high school dance team (which I really wanted to do) because I didn't want anyone else to have to suffer by seeing me dance in spandex. It sounds harsh but that is really what I thought. I wasn't even teased or bullied about my weight by my peers. I was mostly teased by my family and close friends. Either way, I was very uncomfortable in my skin. I remember that one of my favorite things to wear was overalls because they hid my belly and thighs. In high school it was pretty much the same. I felt like a big girl and I envied the cheer leaders and dance girls who were thin.

Junior Year-1999

Senior Year-2001

In college I clocked in at 5'6" and 180 pounds.

Mom, myself, and Dad 

Angela, myself and Jeff 

I was a little bigger than in high school but I was loving the social atmosphere of a college town. I didn't drink or "party" like most college students but I just loved being around so many people my age. I didn't have a lot of socializing in high school because I worked after school and then moved my Senior year to a very small town. The novelty wore off though when I was not getting attention from boys and being asked on dates. I got depressed my sophomore year for several reasons and that was a different struggle to deal with. I did have a brief victory when I got 4th runner up for the Miss Pullman America pageant in 2003 and beat out 6 skinnier-than-me girls! It's a scholarship pageant, not a beauty pageant but I do look pretty kickin' in this tummy-hiding swimsuit...

Miss Pullman, America 2003-3rd Runner Up!

I was starting to feel a little better about myself after that. But I really felt my best when I moved to Virginia in 2006. I don't know what I did differently because I wasn't trying to look different. But I looked good and I felt good and I was happy. I remember weighing around 160 pounds. Trust me, I would love to know how I lost weight without thinking about it, worrying about it, or trying! Look how cute and confident I am:

 Maymont Park, Richmond, Virginia

Mom and I-do we look a little different without the fluffy bangs?

Virginia Beach

Check out the difference between college me and post-Virginia me:

Me and Kaelin, 2004

Kaelin and I, November 2006

The second picture is on Kaelin's wedding day. We both look really great in that picture! Here are a few pics from my mission circa 2007-2008:

In the MTC

Beautiful and talented-first time playing the drums!

Me and Sister Hrebien

Bobcat cub at the exotic petting zoo

Tiger cub 

Monkey face!

Oh deer!

Me and Sister Kaonohi 

   By the time I got back into the real world with all the stress of school, work, a wedding and then husband (I'm pretty sure it's like having a big child haha) I had little time for sleep and just let myself go, I guess. Here are a few pics of me from the last 5 years.

2010

2012

2013

2014

May 3, 2014

I have gained almost 40 pounds in the last 5 years. I weigh more than I have in my whole life. And yes, I know it is not all about weight. But I do not like taking pictures of myself, I lounge around in elastic wasted pants, and I do not feel like I see the real me when I look in the mirror. I know that I can be healthier and I am excited about this weight loss challenge.

*Update: I started writing this in the beginning of May but was on vacation and didn't have access to my pictures. Some of them are pictures of photos, so the quality is not so great. Sorry it has taken so long to finish this post, and thank you for reading my story! So far I have lost 12 pounds on the challenge and there is almost 2 weeks left! I am almost to my 6% goal and intend to keep on going. I will post more on my actual weight-loss journey during the challenge when it is through.

 Craftnanigans & Snazzysauce

A controversial doctor visit: Part 2

First of all, if you have not read Part 1, you can read it here.

Second of all, while it is not easy to open up and put myself out there, in less than 24 hours since I posted part 1 I have had a great number of personal messages of love, support, and "I've been there, too!" It is so nice to be embraced (figuratively) and to share experiences together. Thank you!

On to Part 2:

So now that I am officially done with school, a lot of what I do (and post) is going to be geared towards getting ready for a baby. This is not a pregnancy announcement. (I wish!) But cleaning and organizing the house, changing my habits, physical and mental cleansing, and saving money and getting out of debt-these are all goals for today so that someday next year (I hope!) we will have a baby and we will be as squared away and prepared as possible.

On that note, I decided to get my annual physical (it has been a few years) and start seeing an OBGYN. "Pre-pregnancy counseling" is what they call it. The Nurse Practitioner I saw was really great, although I confess it is a little awkward to talk about sex (sorry, no storks at this house.) One of the first things she asked me is "how often do you exercise?"
            "Rarely," I reply. "But with school and work I am so busy, and I work a lot of days and nights and it is just really hard," I stammer, trying to justify my lack of physical activity.
            "You need to get moving." she says. "Now that school is done, you need to focus on you. You have been focusing on taking care of everyone else and now you have to take care of yourself. In fact, that's the first thing I am writing you a prescription for. Exercise." Ewww, the "E" word!
             "Okay." I laugh a little. It's hard to hear that I need to take care of myself, even though that should be a given. I can't help that I'm so giving and loving of others ;) "And you should try to lose a little weight. It will be better for you when you get pregnant." And there it is. The thing I knew she would say but was hoping she wouldn't. Lose some weight.

I left the doctor's office feeling a little down. I've tried to get healthy and lose weight several times but my efforts have only lasted a few days. It is hard to get a routine going when my work shifts rotate between day and night. But that is still no excuse. Healthy living is a choice. And boy do I love eating sweets and junk food and watching tv.

But on with the story. So I was feeling a little down after my appointment. Sometimes the truth hurts. So in self-pity I posted this on facebook:
      "I guess it is really real when the doctor tells you to lose weight before getting pregnant *feeling fat*"
I had no idea this would become such a controversial statement. There were several people who commented about what they do to keep fit or try to lose weight. There are a lot of options, after all. Then there were several people who seemed to think it was ridiculous for my doctor to suggest weight loss and that weight is a societal  misnomer, as if the numbers on the scale mean nothing. Some people are very passionate about society's view of body image. Especially when I never said anything about trying to get skinny. Everyone has an opinion. My reply to everyone was this:
     "I thank everyone for the words of encouragement but I think it is extreme to suggest I get a different doctor because she said I should exercise more and try to lose some weight. Isn't it a doctor's job to encourage us to be healthier? And while I agree that weight isn't an end-all-be-all health measurement, it is obvious that I am overweight and I know I am not in a healthy place. I am surprised more of you weren't encouraging me to be healthier for my future baby rather than saying it is ok to get pregnant when you are obese. I was a little down after my doctor appointment but it was not new information. Now I have started the 6 week summer slimdown and I am motivated to make healthier food choices and start exercising...I took 9 flights of stairs to work and resisted the donuts! 1 day at a time..."

Now, I am not perfect by any means. I have a long way to go before having healthy habits. But I can try each and every day to be better. And if I make 1 bad food choice or don't exercise, then I will do better the next day and not give up. Maybe this doctor visit was the push I needed to make some real changes. I am excited for the 6 Week Summer Slimdown to help keep me motivated and help me get to a healthier place. Here is my before picture:

The goal is to lose 6% of my body weight in 6 weeks. For me that is about 13 pounds or around 2 pounds per week. This is totally doable! I will keep you posted on my progress.

 Craftnanigans & Snazzysauce

A controversial doctor visit: Part 1

Let me start off by telling a personal story. My husband and I got married when we were 26 and 25 years old. Although we had both taken college courses, neither of us had a degree in anything. We met just prior to serving proselyting and service missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (find out more about missionary work at http://www.mormon.org/values/missionary-work) We wrote letters to each other and decided to date when we got back, even though he lived in Virginia and I lived in Washington State (more about our love story another day.) I returned home in June 2008 and he returned home in July 2008. I moved to Virginia in August 2008 but didn't start work there until October 2008 because I had issues getting my car moved across the country. We got married in January 2009 and you could probably guess that we did not have very much money (you do not get paid for missionary service.) We have both been going to school and working the whole time we have been married.

I was pursuing an Associate Degree in Nursing, which should have only taken a couple of years. We had decided that when I was done with my ADN that we could start having children, since I would be a nurse and that is a pretty good job for providing for a family. Well, graduation came, and since I had heard the first year as a new grad nurse was an adjustment, we decided to wait a little longer before having children. We prayed about it and felt it was the right decision. Then we decided that it was only 3 more semesters for the RN-BSN program, and my job would pay for me to go to school, I might as well finish my Bachelor Degree before having children-since it is a lot harder to go back to school later. Again, we prayed about it and felt it was the right decision. I was itching to start a family. But we knew we should wait. I wanted to get pregnant so that when I graduated with my bachelor degree I could pop a baby right out. But when the time-frame rolled around, hubby needed a little more time. And the closer to graduating I got, the more stressed I became.

We finally decided in March that we could "stop preventing" and that if we got pregnant, it would be just fine. We went to the Temple and prayed about things again. Finally! Baby making time! Sort of. Hubby and I barely see each other for 5 minutes in a 36 or 48 hour period sometimes because of differing work and school schedules. But we made a little time and to our surprise my next period was late. Now, I have been tracking me period on a phone app for several years. I am never late. Ever. I was very giddy and excited at the prospect of getting pregnant right away. But I also knew that it takes a few days for pregnancy to happen after sex. So I waited anxiously. And I didn't want to tell anyone, because I didn't want to be wrong. But even at the thought of being pregnant I thought I would burst. I told my mom and I told my girlfriend. I just couldn't hold it in.

I was supposed to start my period on Saturday according to the app (which is usually one day after I actually start.) Hubby and I agreed to take the pregnancy test on Wednesday. Again, I was anxious and excited at the prospect of being pregnant already. And like I said, my period is NEVER late. I was fairly certain I was pregnant. I did some digging online to see how long it took for a baby to happen. Up to 5 days for the sperm to get up there and up to 6 days for the fertilized egg to attach and the body to realize it is pregnant. Hmmm. Well, I couldn't wait any longer. My hubby reluctantly agreed to let me take it Monday. I told him that if it was negative then we would take it again the following Monday, since it was still really close to the time we had sex.  I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.

Did I take it wrong since I peed in a cup? I brushed it off and at least some of the anxiety was gone. I will just take it again next Monday. No biggie. Wrong! I took it again the same day but peed directly on the stick. Still negative. Dang it. Okay, be strong. It just needs a little more time to burrow and make a home. We will check it again next Monday.

Monday never came. My period started Wednesday and my heart was crushed. How could this be? My period is never late? I was in denial. I even looked online some more because I had heard you can still bleed when you are pregnant. Yes, you can, when the fertilized egg is burrowing. But that is just a little blood. This was definitely my period. I was devastated. And on top of my heartbreak, everyone else kept announcing pregnancies. This was not easy, but I knew it was only our first time trying. My good friend tried for 2 1/2 years before getting pregnant the first time...My parents tried for almost 3 for my little brother (and look what they got! JK bro, love ya!) This was just the first try. We still have plenty of time. And lucky me, I got a UTI anyway so baby making was on hold and I focused on my finals...

End Part 1. Come back tomorrow for Part 2.

 Craftnanigans & Snazzysauce